West Brom v Everton Preview

What do we know about them? They’re like helium voiced wools really and that’s not an insult as wools on the whole are sound and preferable to most of the flutes scattered around the green grass of England. They’re warm folk who are content with the simpler things in life like a morning cup of tea with a biscuit, maybe stretched out to a Jaffa Cake on the weekend. A Ford Capri lying on the drive, a weekend in Blackpool eagerly anticipated. Evening meal on the table by 5.30pm, smoked kipper in the air and a pair of Next slippers – awarded as a gift in 1996 – eased on ready for an evening in front of the goggle box. You know the types.

But how did they vote in the Brexit referendum I don’t hear you cry? Well, small town coziness in England screams ignorant abhorrent racists and so it proved with every two to one person from that area voting to leave a European Union that has funded the area for many years when the Tories would be happy to neglect it. With the area of Sandwell I don’t believe it was a malicious vote because they’re terrified of some Poles stealing a minimum wage job or two, I just think it’s because they’re small town stupid, and we’re unlikely to be able to fix that any time soon so I hope 70% of them are on food rations as soon as Article 50 is invoked.